Its time to bring in the LOGOs

People having disagreements on the Black Dot logo, the community is widely using to represent the Delhi Tragedy. Definitely logos are a nice way to go. History shows us the relevance of logos in situations like this. Personally, logos helped me to a great extend, through many tough phases of my life. Somebody also let the girl at hospital know- more logos coming up, yeaaay!

Moment of Truth

Glad News! I am still Human. Neural network did transmit a rare signal at around 6.45AM to the lacrimal duct and it created a chemical composition which had prolactin and it was ejected out through my eyes. Layman calls it crying. I call it cleansing.

Its a sick sick sick world

The world is not gonna explode, its not gonna catch a fire from the sun, its not gonna shake its people off to annihilation. The world will end one day overpopulated by hostile pedophiles,psychopaths and terrorists! 27 people gone in one day, 27 children. Without even knowing what they did wrong. We are sorry that you had to spend your time in this mad world. R.I.P

The Man who made a pact with the Ghost

It was last night. As usual, I was forcing myself to sleep with a decent dose of Xanax. The talking clock said it was somewhere around one in the midnight, but it said the same thing in the morning while I was having breakfast. I was in my bed staring at the wall thinking of all the mistakes I made during the day. The thought somewhat guaranteed my upcoming sleepless night, so I turned on my laptop and refreshed my Facebook for at-least thirty times. Men posting pictures of booze bottles; Pretty girls posting Good Night messages, Men commenting on those Good Night Messages, Noobs sending Farmville requests. Oh Crap; I was online on Chat this whole time. Boring people from the other side of the world are sending me messages. I moved on to YouTube. Put on my headphones and tried listening to ‘Moonlight Kiss’. Fifty minutes later, I am still on YouTube watching some guy on weed crying to a rainbow. No sign of sleep. I had my lights on. Suddenly it went off, with a strange noise. I sat up on the bed. I could sense something moving in room. The light came up. No one was there. The whole thing repeated for about nine times. Darkness everywhere. Though now I could see a shape moving near the wall. 

“Who goes there?” I asked.

Silence. I got up from the bed and moved towards the wall. I saw in the darkness, two eyes staring at me. What followed was a loud scream. Sounded like a mature woman yelling at the top of her lungs.

“Who is that?” I asked again.

Then she started talking in a low-key voice. Yet it was uneasy on my ears.

“You might not recognize me. I am not from your world”. She said with a mild grin.

“Even if you lived next door, chances are that I might not recognize you. As I don’t go out often….” I was interrupted at this point.

“I am a ghost.” She said.

“Yeah, I kind’a got that. And the whole sneaking thing;  Neat Job. Respect. But what exactly are you doing here?” I was getting slightly annoyed.

“Aren’t you afraid?” She sounded too curios for a ghost.

“Well, Err, No offense. I don’t know when did you move in, But we live in India, the light flickering thing is quite common here and especially at this time of the year. And I lived with my parents for about 20 years of my life, I am quite used to the mature screaming as well. “ I tried to be as polite as possible.

“I am the last thing you are going to see. Do you have anything to say?” She asked.

“Okay? Let me clarify a couple of things” I sat down again, this time on a chair. “You came to my room and you are saying to me that you are going to kill me? I mean, what’s the point. No one is going to know how I died. Don’t you people like some sort of appreciation for the work you put in? People will still go ahead and make fake movies about you, but you know how much money the contemporary horror movies are making. So that trend is going down the drain and eventually you will be forgotten forever. Give yourself a break. What’s the fucking point of your life, sorry, death!”

She sat on the other side of the bed with a long sigh.

I moved the chair closer to her. She was beautiful by the way.

“Hey, don’t be upset. I didn’t mean it that way.  But look at the brighter side. Look at your options. I can help you out. Lets make a deal. I will help you achieve whatever you need in here. And in return, you help me out with the supernatural world. Ok?” I said.

“Hmm, Ok” She nodded.

“Well, lets see. What do you want now? I asked

“Hmm, I would like to go to a pub. Never been there actually” She said with a smile.

“That’s it? I mean no revenge-killing-assistance? Whatever! Done, I will take you to a pub” I said.

“Thanks, So what do you want?” She moved a little closer to me.

“Hmm, I would really like to go back in time! “ I made the statement.

“You mean like time travel?” She seemed doubtful.

“Ah, Yes! Exactly like time travel, Duh!!” I said.

“Err, Sorry, but we are not there yet. I mean, work is happening, but we need more time to do time travel and things like that.” She said.

“Oh, well then, make me rich…super rich” I went with my next option.

“Ehh” She moved her head implying a No.

“Invisibility, Telekinetics, Predicting Future, Immortality, Resetting my credit card dues?” I listed out all my options.

“Ah, well. Technically, I cannot but…aah…(sighs and thinks for a second) No, No I cant”. She finally admitted.

“What can you do then?” I queried.

“I can turn you into a black cat”.  She was excited.

“Why,why.why the hell would I want to change to a fucking cat? “ I was frustrated.

“I don’t know, you can scare people, you can chase little things, and throw up hairballs….” She said.

“Ewww, ew ew ew. Stop” I interrupted. “Alright, I don’t want anything now. I am feeling tad sleepy. Do you mind?”

“Oh yeah sure” She stood up. “Are you sure about the cat thing? Its kind’a fun”. She said.

“Oh I am sure”. I got inside the warm blanket. “Just keep me posted on the time travel updates.”

She then vanished into thin air. The lights came back up. The talking clock said it was six in the morning.

Honey,i shrink.......

For a short period of my life I dated a shrink. So whenever I was asked the question "Are you seeing someone?", I had to try my level best not to sound sarcastic when answering, " Yeah, a psychiatrist!"

Boy Oh Boy!

Was cleaning up my mails and found something from the past. This is really weird. Boy, I was such a nerd! What you see below is the mail I sent to one of my exs before we started dating. I don't know what the hell was she thinking, it worked! No worries, she is on my friend-list and is happily married to a normal human being now. Thank you for not poisoning me dear! 

"Yes, this might sound odd or on a worst case scenario, inappropriate. But I don't think I can hold this information within me for long.I am not a person who works on emotions.I do care a very few of things and when I say few, the list is really really small.I am uncertain of the causes, but you are now on that list. I usually do work independently. I don't entertain people much and loathe the society.To get all of this straight, would it be totally weird, if we had dinner together? You pick the day- which is next friday by the way."

Dear Customer Care.....

Dear Axis Bank, 

I am a customer. I was trying to register for internet banking, without adult supervision (as it was not mandatory in the welcome letter) when I got stuck in this form. With due respect to the overpaid IT Support who created thi

s form, how the hell am I supposed to enter a mobile number in here. I might be weak in math, but even after trying all the 13 possible ways to enter the number in these 2 confusing boxes with 5+12 numeral capacity, I am getting an invalid mobile number alert. Please try and solve the puzzle for me. I can understand the legal complications of putting an example subscript under the box for dummies, so a solution by mail is fine by me. 

yours IT-Challenged,

Mahesh.

Master of Pilomotor Reflex

Its been a while, I had listened to this track. I have singled out the most amusing part of this song. I am not an expert in music neither do I play an instrument but I am interested to dissect and study what is that in a song, that gives me irresolute pilomotor reflex. A R Rahman is a musician who a is master of this art. He succeeds with me almost every time. Its his knowledge of using a particular bit of sound, which might go rather unnoticed or irritating if placed incorrectly, which makes his compositions worth multiple listenings. For instance, in this particular track notice the way he assembles the sub-mix. Accompanied pad-strings, chorus, beautifully scaled vocal variations but above all that; the key here, is the slightly distorted tweet sound at "00.18" (in the clip below) and it's perfect placement. Most of our neo-musicians will omit the part or as in most cases not even think about something as 'trivial' as this. But thats where all the difference exists. And there's more than one instance in this clip. There a point where the song changes its acoustic style. Rahman coats the transition with a sublime thunder sound at "00.39"This is applicable to all Rahman songs.

 PS: I am carrying curses from all the indie-musicians I've worked with, for trying forcefully to extract something like this from them. 

Listen the clip here:

http://soundcloud.com/thepaperbird/ennavilai-clip

Dog Days

The other day, I saw a dog pissing on the roadside. He did take a leak, turned around and covered the area by shoveling sand with his legs.He walked away. Next day, I saw a man pissing on the road side. He did take a leak. He walked away. Now what could be the least self-insulting interpretation?

Conspiracy Theory

Something unusual just happened. I was heading to work. As usual, on a rick. Was on the way down from a flyover when the driver lost his control on wheels and hit the divider. The driver flew out of the rick. I was about to collide and two things came to my mind . (1) if i survive, this is so going on Facebook and (2) I need to find out whether there is an unnatural conspiracy involved in this event. I was inside the whole time, when it flipped over and finally stopped. Saved without a scratch. Took the driver to a nearby hospital. I came home. Did the first thing on my checklist. The event went on Facebook. I checked my diary to find out the answer to the second one. Eight Years back, I was heading to work on my bike. Didn't see the speeding bus coming from back. We had a moment and in the next one, I was in the ground almost kissing a giant tyre. It was close but was saved without a scratch. The date October 12, 2004. And today October 12, 2012.

Travel Diaries: Bangkok

I had a busy schedule for the last semester and so was dying since July for a peaceful unwinding. So after a lot of online research, expert advice sessions and budget estimations; I chose Bangkok, Thailand. 

I scheduled the trip for 4 days in the beginning of September, 2012. 

Preparations:

Bangkok airlines had a pretty decent package for a round trip at INR 13,600/- (Bangalore- Bangkok- Bangalore). Travelling in and around Bangkok is a tough task given the notorious heavy traffic. A very convenient mode of fast commute is the ARL/BTS/MRT network. So that was my priority factor when I decided to reserve a place for stay. Padi Madi Guesthouse is an acceptable Inn which is a Throw-Stone away from Thong Lo BTS Station. Booked a standard room online where the damage was THB 2600/- (One Thai Baht = 1.76 Indian Rupees). Next step was to make an itinerary which had schedules for all the intended places of interest and its appropriate travel mode which often included a combination of Trains, Buses, Ferries and lots of Walking. If we are travelling from India, we can take a Thai Visa on arrival at the Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok. The Visa on Arrival fee is THB 1000/- and an optional THB 200/- for a Fast Track. At this point, we need to provide a (4x6cm) photograph.

EnRoute:

The whole check in+immigration process was a breeze as I was carrying just one hand luggage with all my essentials tightly packed in. I carried a Canon 5D Mark II with a Canon 17-40 Lens and my new Tamron 70-300. To save space, instead of my laptop, I chose to take with me, the iPad. The Flight PG 732 left exactly on time, strangely with 6 passengers onboard including me. We left at sharp 1.30 AM Indian time and the journey duration was 3.45 hours.

(Click on the Images to scale it up)

The 'Eggs & Sausage' Breakfast of Bangkok Airways. Was Good

Nearing Bangkok City at 6:00AM Bangkok Time

Day 1: Safari World

We landed at 6.30 and soon after the disembarkation, I proceeded to the 2nd Floor where they had Visa on Arrival Counters. I picked up a form, attached the photograph on to it and went to the counter with the filled in application. The whole stamping process took about a minute and a half as I was on the Fast Track queue.

As I could only check in to my hotel at 1.00PM (a common rule across the hotels in Singapore and Thailand), I decided to spend the morning at Safari World. I proceeded to the ARL (Airport Rail Link station) which is inside the Airport. I had to catch an ARL from the airport, get down at Phaya Thai, interchange lane, get down at Victory Monument and then catch a bus to Ram Indra Road; if I wanted to go to Safari World.

Safari world is an open zoo that consists of two parks named Safari Park and Marine Park. A drive through safari park takes about 45 minutes which features a lot of wild animals and birds. Other than that, Safari world has several stunt shows, animal shows, rides and trails. The entry fee for the Park is THB 900/- per person. If you dont have your own vehicle for the safari drive, you can buy a coach ticket for THB 30/-. The amazon jungle boat ride is an extra which will cost you 280 THB/-

By 4.00 PM, I was on a BTS towards Thong Lo. I got down at Thong Lo Station, took the Exit 1 and went to Sukhumvit Soi 53 (In Bangkok, Streets are called Soi), where Padi Madi Guesthouse is located.

The room was decent with a view and an attached bathroom (TBH 890/- per night). They also provide a high speed WiFi network for free. I took a really long hot shower and headed out to experience the famous thai street food.

Thong Lo streets had everything from Chicken to Squid to Pork to Frog and all of them tasted great. Street food is comparatively cheap as the options here are huge (Be ready to spend a maximum of TBH 40-60 per hawker).

 Day 2: Pattaya and Koh Larn (Coral Island)

Woke up early in the morning as I had Pattaya and Coral Island in my schedule for the day. Pattaya is about 165 KMs from Bangkok and I had planned to catch a bus from Ekkamai (Bangkok Bus Terminal) to Pattaya. Got down at Ekkamai BTS station which is just one stop from Thong Lo. Took a TBH 130/- ticket from the counter for a private coach which had 7 other passengers.

The journey took about 2 hours with no stops in-between. They dropped us off near the bus station; from where I had to get on a Songthaew to go to Bali Hai Pier. 

There are two ways that you can choose from, inorder to reach Koh Larn (Coral Island) from Bali Hai Pier. A 45 Min Ferry or a 20 Min Speed Boat. I was too chicken to choose the second one, so I got on a TBH 30/- Ferry. White Sands, Clear Waters, Semi Nude Girls.....Am on the way!

The last ferry from Koh Larn to Pattaya leaves at 6PM. I got on one and headed back to Pattaya. As the private coach wasn't "private" enough, I decided and opt for the 1st class Semi Sleeper bus to go back to Bangkok. 

Day 3: MBK, Soi Cowboy and China Town

Decided to wake up late as my plans for the day were in and around the city. First on the list was MBK (Mahboonkrong), an 8 storied shopping mall and cinema centre. I took a BTS to Siam, where I changed the lane and finally got down at National Stadium station, which is right next to MBK.

Picked up a 'Ferrari' Phone from an All-Purpose gadget shop

You need coupons to buy food from the monstrous food court at MBK

  

For the evening, I had plans for visiting Soi Cowboy (the infamous red light street of Bangkok) and Chinatown. I took a BTS from Thong Lo and got down at Asok to interchange with an MRT line. But this being a friday, the queue in front of the ticket vending machines were huge. I had to give up and opt for an alternative mode of transport. I headed out and found that Soi Cowboy was right next to Asok BTS Station.

The night was still young (more like an infant), so most of the ladies weren't out yet. I took a walk through the pink-lit street and from the other end, I took a Tuk-Tuk to Chinatown.

Tuk-Tuk, the bangkok 'meterless' version of our AutoRickshaw. But way more comfortable.

The Pork Rice which was pure awesomeness!

From Chinatown I took a Tuk-Tuk to Hua Lumphong MRT Station, went to Asok, switched over to BTS and went back to Thong Lo.

Day 4: Taling Chan Floating Market, Siam Center

Final day at Bangkok. Had to vacate the room by 11AM. I left Thong Lo at around 10.30AM and got down at Saphan Taksin. Again, seeing the violent Chao Phraya river, I chickened out of the express boat tour and instead took a Tuk-Tuk to Taling Chan Floating Market. 

My return flight was only at 10:30PM and I had enough to to kill during the day. I decided to visit the Siam Tower, which was anyway a BTS hub. Checked out the Madame Tussauds Wax Museum,which was impressive but small. (TBH 400/- Per Person)

At 6.30 PM, I caught the ARL to Suvarnabhumi Airport from Phaya Thai BTS Station. The flight was right on time. We had to pass through a couple of really bad storms causing an irritating turbulence through out. Eh, I guess that comes with the season.

Rating:

Places of Interest: 7/10

Weather : 5/10

Food: 8/10

Tourist Friendly: 6/10

Verdict: A Must-Visit, Definitely!