Statutory Warning.

All of you might've heard about the devastating question whatsapp is throwing at your face since the other day. And I know a few of you good people, who are really concerned about the catastrophic effect this is going to have on your day-to-day functioning, have started spreading this uber-worthy message of saving the day by a setting tweak. I, myself have read such caring notifications from some of you dear friends on whatsapp, facebook and coffee table conversations. Now, to all those gems - this ain't over. You will be solving nothing. These are the tips you should really follow as of immediate effect:

1. Cancel your broadband connection immediately: They might be watching you closely - I mean inappropriately close. Even as you are reading this, they are observing and learning. Disconnect now!

2. Burn your laptop, computers and phones: Might be already late, but that's the best thing you can do now. All this while, when you were installing apps, you've been giving permission for them to enter your personal life. (Sigh) Anyways bygones are bygones. Burn them and just to be on the safer side, bury the remains near a radioactive zone.

3. Now for the most important part, your Address might've been already leaked when you bought that useless gadget from flipkart the other month. Leave all your belongings inside the home (coz its too late) and burn it. Yes, Burn the goddamn traitor-house down.

Ps: Last but not least, unfriend me from your social network. Coz all this while, I have been stealing and selling your cat, family, vacation, selfie, kid, granny, homemade dinner photos to NASA for millions of dollars (Yes, even though you had put that status a while back which goes like this. "I hereby prevent facebook from using my photos, blah blah blah). Dont wait after pressing like and typing 11 to see the magic, its not gonna happen this time. Take an intelligent action. Peace out.

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WTF.

Woke up at 10. Started researching on the Black Mamba snake of Sub-Saharan Africa till 6 for no apparent reason. Now I am like, what the hell just happened?

ഒരു മതത്തിലും വിശ്വസിക്കാത്ത ഈശ്വരവിശ്വാസികൾ ഉണ്ടാകട്ടെ!

മതതീവ്രവാദികൾക്ക് എല്ലാം പ്രശ്നമാണ്. വേറെ ഒരു രാജ്യം നന്നായാൽ പ്രശ്നം, മറ്റൊരു മതം നന്നായാൽ പ്രശ്നം, അവരെ പറ്റി കുറ്റം പറഞ്ഞാൽ പ്രശ്നം ഒന്നും പറയാതിരുന്നാലും പ്രശ്നം, അന്യമതക്കാരെ സ്നേഹിച്ചാൽ പ്രശ്നം, സ്വന്തം മതക്കാരെ സ്നേഹിച്ചാലും പ്രശ്നം, മതവസ്ത്രം ഇട്ടില്ലെങ്കിൽ പ്രശ്നം, മൈക്ക് വെച്ച് ഉച്ചത്തിൽ നിലവിളിചില്ലെങ്കിൽ പ്രശ്നം, പശുനെ തിന്നാൽ പ്രശ്നം, പന്നിയെ തിന്നാൽ പ്രശ്നം -ഇത്രയൊക്കെ ആയ സ്ഥിതിക്ക് കല്യാണം കഴിക്കുന്നതും കുട്ടികൾ ഉണ്ടാവുന്നതും കൂടി മതപരമായി അങ്ങ് വിലക്കിയിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ ഒരു പത്തു മുപ്പതു വർഷം കഴിയുമ്പോ ഇവറ്റകൾ എല്ലാം ചത്തൊടുങ്ങിയേനെ.

ഒരു മതത്തിലും വിശ്വസിക്കാത്ത ഈശ്വരവിശ്വാസികൾ ഉണ്ടാകട്ടെ.

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Counting Diamonds to Sleep.

It was another sleepless night and as usual I was in bed looking at rotation cycles of the fan. After a while I thought of pushing myself on to a dream. This is something that I often do-  I will stage the setting, characters and if needed an inciting incident in my mind. The dream will soon take off from your curb to a subliminal auto-drive. I decided to try the technique again and started staging a very simple initiation. I am in this small room which had wooden flooring and papers on the wall where I am sitting in a chair and staring at pile of diamonds.I am slowly filling a glass jar with those diamonds. And accidentally one of them falls on to the floor, bounces around and rests hidden. Now here my mind starts getting a little uncomfortable, sleep pattern changes and I am back in control of my dream. Now I can direct the dream in a such a way that I found the diamond from the floor resting right next to the leg of the chair; picked it up and put it in the jar. But my subconscious mind didn't let me do that. Even when I deliberately placed the diamond there on the scene, my mind kept telling me that its not the right diamond.

Now going to the bigger picture here - I tried this experiment with a couple of my friends and 4 out of 5 were able to sleep peacefully and continue with the dream after altering the dream by putting the diamond where they could see it. But one of them had the same quandary that I faced. I am not really qualified to validate this as a solid study, but I think it was an archetypical of two kinds of people. The ones who feel contend with whatever they have and the ones who can never settle with whatever they own. What is your take?

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Yours Faithfully.

Bowing down for the meager trice of contentment you endowed.
I was so longing to harken; That saccharine intonation.
This is all I can opine; I am the reticent swain.

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Dither.

Why do good people keep gravitating towards me. No matter how hard I try, all I can give them is a dithering pain. Perhaps I am the kind who should be kept in a leash and, never have human contact.

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Time Flies?

On a slug lane since morning when time flies in every other part of the world, waving at me at that diminutive point of outstrip.

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Right Communication

Each line of my communication with the local real estate agent will have four versions.

me: " did you get a chance to speak to the owner"?
(silence from the other end)

me: " did you speak to the owner"?
(silence from the other end)

me: " did you talk to the house owner"?
(silence from the other end)

me: "yuuuu…taaalked…houus…ooonerr??
other end: Yes saar. taaalked. yavery thing okaaay saaar!


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Animal Instinct.

We must be only species in this planet who will (while cleaning their habitat) lift up the mess, clean the area it was occupying and then put the mess back in.

Universal Truth.

In the not so distant future, we might realize that we were nothing but a cancer to the planet.

Ideal Scenario

In an ideal world with a time machine, what's the ideal tool to kill a person! CONDOMS!

Moment of Truth

I was an atheist, then started believing Gregory Crewdson is God.

Bipolar

Went out for dinner at my frequent joint, Benito's. Being a sunday, it was filled with people. Crowded. I always knew that I am not comfortable being at crowded places, but yesterday it went a little ahead of my anticipation. I ordered food.Was waiting and then the noise started getting on my nerves. It started getting louder and louder. I covered my ears. I was really uncomfortable. I couldn't take a single bite and wasted 700INR worth of food there. I am pretty sure If someone even tried to have a conversation with me then, the guy would've been in hospital right now. I was feeling dangerously angry at everyone who were in that space at that moment. I think I'm ready, for my last stage transition, of being a concept.

Truth of Life

Half of our life is wasted in messing things up ; the other half is wasted while fixing those up.

Beautiful Things.

Perfection and Beauty can never co-exist. Infact, Beauty is the parallax amidst Perfection and Frailty.

Moment to cherish- Really!

Its a top-of-the-world moment when you learn, that you've been hoodwinked by someone you would ideally trust, from their own impoverished skills in cover-ups

Phobia

I always had fears of flying and neoplasm. Its because of the narcissist in me, who believed that it would be possible only by something that stronger to take me down and, who ignored the fact that things as trivial as a fish or a bird could end it for me.

Madness?

9.00 PM: I had this feeling that my eyeglasses are too dusty. 
9.10 PM: I am in the washroom to wash my glasses
9.12 PM: I am taking out the phone from the pocket
9.13 PM: I am keeping it under the running water
9.20 PM: I am drying my phone with a towel
9.40 PM: I am thinking, "That didn't go very well".

If dreams could kill

I am walking around a temple.An old one. In fact running in circles, past the huge white pillars with elephants chained on to them. Maybe 10 or 15 , I am not sure. People are all around the place. Kids watching, as the elephants feed themselves with the palm leaves stacked in front of them. I hit the number 8, and then I see, instead of elephants , there are giant black cobras. Standing high as the pillars and looking down at me with those angry eyes. No one was around anymore. I am all alone and trying to imbibe what I am seeing. That sight was beyond me. Beyond what my mind could ever handle. Something that spectacular, scary and dangerously beautiful could easily take the last breath away of me. If dreams could kill, I'd be dead by now.

Nigel Powers: The Dutch Hater

Helplessly observing the cultural terrorism progressing in the nation. Today its Kamal Hassan and tomorrow its definitely gonna be us, who'll be packing their bags. A debate on quality of the work is irrelevant at this juncture but its a definite threat to the society when we are denied the freedom of harmless artistic expression. Another thing that worries me is the bisexual attitude of the commentators. We can easily relate this to Nigel Powers' super hilarious, oxymoronic statement , "There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."