Monday, August 29, 2016

Statutory Warning.

All of you might've heard about the devastating question whatsapp is throwing at your face since the other day. And I know a few of you good people, who are really concerned about the catastrophic effect this is going to have on your day-to-day functioning, have started spreading this uber-worthy message of saving the day by a setting tweak. I, myself have read such caring notifications from some of you dear friends on whatsapp, facebook and coffee table conversations. Now, to all those gems - this ain't over. You will be solving nothing. These are the tips you should really follow as of immediate effect:
1. Cancel your broadband connection immediately: They might be watching you closely - I mean inappropriately close. Even as you are reading this, they are observing and learning. Disconnect now!
2. Burn your laptop, computers and phones: Might be already late, but that's the best thing you can do now. All this while, when you were installing apps, you've been giving permission for them to enter your personal life. (Sigh) Anyways bygones are bygones. Burn them and just to be on the safer side, bury the remains near a radioactive zone.
3. Now for the most important part, your Address might've been already leaked when you bought that useless gadget from flipkart the other month. Leave all your belongings inside the home (coz its too late) and burn it. Yes, Burn the goddamn traitor-house down.
Ps: Last but not least, unfriend me from your social network. Coz all this while, I have been stealing and selling your cat, family, vacation, selfie, kid, granny, homemade dinner photos to NASA for millions of dollars (Yes, even though you had put that status a while back which goes like this. "I hereby prevent facebook from using my photos, blah blah blah). Dont wait after pressing like and typing 11 to see the magic, its not gonna happen this time. Take an intelligent action. Peace out.


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