Sunday, October 28, 2012

Dear Customer Care.....

Dear Axis Bank, 

I am a customer. I was trying to register for internet banking, without adult supervision (as it was not mandatory in the welcome letter) when I got stuck in this form. With due respect to the overpaid IT Support who created thi
s form, how the hell am I supposed to enter a mobile number in here. I might be weak in math, but even after trying all the 13 possible ways to enter the number in these 2 confusing boxes with 5+12 numeral capacity, I am getting an invalid mobile number alert. Please try and solve the puzzle for me. I can understand the legal complications of putting an example subscript under the box for dummies, so a solution by mail is fine by me. 

yours IT-Challenged,

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Master of Pilomotor Reflex

Its been a while, I had listened to this track. I have singled out the most amusing part of this song. I am not an expert in music neither do I play an instrument but I am interested to dissect and study what is that in a song, that gives me irresolute pilomotor reflex. A R Rahman is a musician who a is master of this art. He succeeds with me almost every time. Its his knowledge of using a particular bit of sound, which might go rather unnoticed or irritating if placed incorrectly, which makes his compositions worth multiple listenings. For instance, in this particular track notice the way he assembles the sub-mix. Accompanied pad-strings, chorus, beautifully scaled vocal variations but above all that; the key here, is the slightly distorted tweet sound at "00.18" (in the clip below) and it's perfect placement. Most of our neo-musicians will omit the part or as in most cases not even think about something as 'trivial' as this. But thats where all the difference exists. And there's more than one instance in this clip. There a point where the song changes its acoustic style. Rahman coats the transition with a sublime thunder sound at "00.39"This is applicable to all Rahman songs.

 PS: I am carrying curses from all the indie-musicians I've worked with, for trying forcefully to extract something like this from them. 

Listen the clip here:

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Dog Days

The other day, I saw a dog pissing on the roadside. He did take a leak, turned around and covered the area by shoveling sand with his legs.He walked away. Next day, I saw a man pissing on the road side. He did take a leak. He walked away. Now what could be the least self-insulting interpretation?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Conspiracy Theory

Something unusual just happened. I was heading to work. As usual, on a rick. Was on the way down from a flyover when the driver lost his control on wheels and hit the divider. The driver flew out of the rick. I was about to collide and two things came to my mind . (1) if i survive, this is so going on Facebook and (2) I need to find out whether there is an unnatural conspiracy involved in this event. I was inside the whole time, when it flipped over and finally stopped. Saved without a scratch. Took the driver to a nearby hospital. I came home. Did the first thing on my checklist. The event went on Facebook. I checked my diary to find out the answer to the second one. Eight Years back, I was heading to work on my bike. Didn't see the speeding bus coming from back. We had a moment and in the next one, I was in the ground almost kissing a giant tyre. It was close but was saved without a scratch. The date October 12, 2004. And today October 12, 2012.