Now here is a repulsive thought. There is a chance that you might find yourself in any of the category of people that I am going to mention below. A word of disclaimer before you start- I am not judging anyone neither am I the promoter of a singular cult. These are just random thoughts and if you find this disturbing or against your cultural beliefs, well, then there is something deeply wrong with your social awareness.
As I said, I am not going to preach my ideology to you. I am simply going to present, in front of you, a truth in its raw form.
SCENARIO:
Here is our girl. She is happy, curious and thankful for her wonderful family. She belongs to a middle class working social unit. Her Parents are financially stable, reputed employees of the state and her brother doing his middle school. She is doing her graduation. A pleasant and innocent girl, who loves her family a lot, lives her life happily like any normal 20-year-old girl should live. Then comes our boy. Usually this entry happens in the form of a wrongly directed phone call or an awkward staring at any shopping mall. (Fact: the male libido is always turned on by default). Boy starts stalking (read again, I said stalking, not talking) the girl. Girl feels irritated and uncomfortable. Boy thinks; making a girl uncomfortable by making random appearances in bus stops, shopping malls or even in classrooms; is a good sign. (Thanks to our movies!). Well, in weirdo-world it is a good sign. Girl is confused (Again thanks to our education and family system. Confusion is not the emotion that should be surfacing on a situation like that). Boy constantly sends out signs that he likes the girl in the form of weird looks, body movements, missed calls, cheap stationary and substandard poems. (Strangely it never occurs to him that what makes human different from an ape is the ability to do oral communication). The boy after a number of denials from the girl keeps trying, with no self-respect, so to speak. He begs, he cries and says that he cannot survive a single moment without her. The Girl, after a long time of being irritated, confused and helpless, starts to feel that he is the right choice for her as he is already doing ‘sacrifices’. (Again, thanks to our system). She, for the first time, returns the call. He cries again, thanks her and promises her a lot of things (which we will get to in a couple of minutes). There, starts an array of routines. Nightlong calls, Texts and again cheap stationary exchanges. The boy, over these calls, tries hard to impress the girl. The girl, at this point of time, is primarily the listener and believes whatever the boy says. She strongly concurs that this boy is a keeper and better than anyone she is ever going to get. The boy meanwhile, starts living in the fake stories that he himself created to impress the girl. His time for the girl gets shorter and the girl becomes the talker and boy, the impatient listener. Calls from the boy’s to the girl’s phone soon becomes a thing of the past. Thinking that it’s now her only future, Girl confesses everything to her parents and begs for their approval. Parent with no other choice, goes to the Boy’s parents. Girl finds out that the boy actually comes from a financially, socially and morally poor family. Parents resent. Girl cries, begs and spends a lot of time on phone hearing curses, insults and abusive words from the Boy. Finally, again with no logical choice, Parents agree to get them married. Boy’s family demands money. Crying and cursing repeats. They get married. It’s only then the girl realizes, her incompatibility with the boy and his family. Her suffering starts. Boy with no prospective future keeps living in that fake world he created. He develops a superiority complex from his actual inferior self and tortures the girl mentally, physically and in every other way possible. Then comes the other woman (Usually this entry too happens in the form of a purposefully misdirected phone call). Boy spends more time over the phone than with his wife. Due to the Boy’s inferior intellect, Girl finds out about this very quickly. Boy blames everything on the Girl. Her life is soon a living hell. Here is our girl. She is confused, she is shattered and now she has no one. Whose fault is this anyway? What went wrong here?
You can close your eyes and move your head in disagreement. But this is happening to one out of every 10 girls in our state. I wont conclude this with a statement of advice but I would like to put forward a thought.
You meet someone who actually belongs to your Intellectual, Physical and (always a wiser decision) Financial level. Talk to them. Befriend them. Get to know them. Spend time with them. Wait for things to progress, if there is a chance. Propose when you are finally ready. Talk to your parents. (I am very much against parents deciding their in-laws, but they definitely need to be a part of your wedding). Get married and own a family. This is something special but more than that, this is something logical. Think before you act as there wont be any room for thinking post the action.
Tip to Girls: Your first love might seem the best in your neighborhood, but you will meet 20 better candidates if you move out of that neighborhood. Before settling down for something mediocre, travel a lot. Get to know different people. Get a job. Get to know how the world works. You might end up with a good life.
FOOT NOTE:
A word to the people who still blindly supports (parental) arranged marriage. A baby starts sitting up when he is 3 months old; a baby walks when he is an year old; a baby talks when he is 2. As a parent, we cannot sit for the baby, we cannot walk for the baby, and we cannot talk for the baby. All we can do is support them, nurture them that they will do everything properly by themselves. Good parenting is not selecting a partner for their Child, but it is making the Child capable of choosing the right partner himself/herself when the time is right.
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