1. Work really hard before going to the actual shoot. Plan your story, do the needed research, get the facts right and loopholes fixed, structure it , make a bound script, work on the script, consult experts. And make sure your story is worth doing in the big screen format (If its just the usual extra-maritals, lovers with OCD or cheapskate gangster stuff , better stick to TV or Youtube.)
2. DO use a Malayalam Title for your movie. Not a sub-standard english one which resembles retro porn. I was travelling from Kochi to Alappuzha on road and that was when I realized one possible source from which the directors get a title idea. (Some potential titles we might hear very soon: Speed Breaker, Platform, Bus Stop, Boat Jetty, Not reachable and Toll Gate. Sorry If any of these 'titles' are already in the making. It was unintentional! ).
3. While promoting the movie, DO NOT by any chance give the Caption/ Slogan writing responsibility to your Designer. They might be good designers but lets face it, most of the designers we have right now in kerala are linguistically challenged (which is quiet evident from the recent works). Pay a dedicated Creative writer to provide Captions/ Slogans and other literal content to your trailer/poster.
4. DONT take the sentence "Making Global Movies" in the wrong sense. Making a movie for a pan-indian or even an international audience IS accomplished only when the content of the movie is worth it. Using a gender-confused Keralite, who thinks he has a british accent, to announce absurd english captions in a malayalam trailer is NOT global movie marketing. Try and learn how the south koreans do their movies. If you still cant live without using english in your malayalam movie, Use that in Subtitles!
5. Learn Proper Film Making. Do a course if needed. Being a director can not be achieved from watching movies or reading film magazines. Its a discipline which requires a high level of technical knowledge about every aspect of a film. In other words,the confidence you gained from the short video you made with that cheap mobile/hd cam, is pretty useless! (I've seen enough "talent" to ruin an entire generation of cinema on youtube!. )
6. Don't ever, ever blame it on the audience. Your film, if its good, will be known to the world as a good film. I have heard a director saying this " My film was released along with that stupid masala movie.Everybody went and saw the masala movie and my good film was a failure". Now what if the director's film released along with another directors good film. Well ,People will have to come out eventually and go to the theatre and see something and obviously one good film out of the two will be successful,right?. Suppose there are only good films coming out. Lets make that happening. Sounds impossible? Well, this already happened in the 80s!
7. Use your budget wisely. For Instance, Unnecessary abroad-shot songs are a waste indeed. When a movie is (mind my language) crap or when it fails miserably, no one is gonna say " Oh we at least gotto see a song shot abroad". Now with all these young professionals/ couples traveling all over the world, do you seriously think you can get their appreciation by making middle aged actors doing weird dance moves in even weirder cloths while the passing locals watch and judge them as mentally challenged aliens!? Use the money on better equipments, better technicians and post production.
8. Stick to one genre. If thats not possible at least to two. Hollywood movies for example,If they are making a comedy,the whole treatment of the movie will be on that particular genre. Now see what we are doing, We take a horror which is also a musical which is also a comedy which is also a romance which is also an action which is also a thriller and is targeted on family,kids and youth! I am pretty sure no one will think I exaggerated there. Recently saw on TV, a scene from an over-rated malayalam "comedy" sequel. It is supposed to be a comedy but the scene I saw had this shot of a ghost with an iron box in her hand (probably electrocuted while ironing her husband's cloths? ) coming out from a well and dragging herself across the room. Have to say, it was a pretty scary shot. I suppose a lot of kids would've been watching this movie as that was the way it was being promoted and this one shot can stay in their mind and scare them. Guys, please consider the target audience and be socially responsible. For Instance, take Gautham V Menon and his movies- he clearly defines his target audience for each of his movies and stays responsible while obtaining the sensor certificate even if that might affect the initial pull for his movie.
9.Lip-Sync songs in movies! Now whats that all about? It is fine when the movie's core subject is music (eg: Bharatham, Sagarasangamam, Rockstar) or when you are making a broadway style musical around the 10 greats tracks you own (eg: Vinnanithandi Varuvaaya, Minsarakanavu etc). But in a period war film? in a cop story? in a military operation? Seriously?. I mean how can one sit through five minutes of crappy tune and stupid lyrics synced with even dumber visuals shot on mature adults wearing teenage costumes. Grow Up Please. You can still use songs in a montage which is much wiser and also a smart cue technique to restore control of the movie's pace. We had a lot of Songless Single-genre movies in the 80s (August 1. A brilliant example).
10.I haven't seen a single malayalam movie which depicts relationship honestly. Be it any relationship. The one thing I am fed up with, is the way they show a Male friend circle. Now in our movies these people talk pretty much like girls do. (No offense girls but In actuality Men and Women have entirely different subjects to converse while being in a group). Either they act like girls or kids from middle school or gays without the artistic quality .This is something which came in so prominently after the 95s. A bunch of working guys (not studying) in the late 20s (not middle teens) talking about holding hands with his girlfriend (not a stranger) while sitting next to her in the theatre (not in front of her parents)! …I mean COMEON!! . And whats with all the crying? They cry much frequently than a breast-fed toddler. Not only that this whole relationship interpretation is a shame, its also misleading thousands of innocent teens. What you are finally gonna get is a highly sensitive, irrational, nervous batch of men, who wears tube-fit jeans with floral designs on them, staring at strange women in shopping malls. Oh well, already there!
11. What's with this new branding on movie titles? 'Confident Casanovva' and now its 'Confident Rajavinte makan'. I mean, they found the ONLY thing that was missing in our movies, Bravo Marketing Genius! Soon we will be witnessing the dawn of 'Gokulam Randamoozham' , 'Idea Chemmeen', 'Harpic Bhargavi Nilayam', 'Musli Power Kinnarathumbikal' ….so on and so forth! There isn't a better occasion I could use "WTF" without regret.
PS: Wannabe/Already Directors..Please dont take the opportunity given to you for granted! With power comes responsibility. Read a lot. Doesn't have to be Paulo Coelho but at least what we already have in close proximity.( Basheer, Padmarajan etc). Be a good contributor to cinema! All the best.
Note to a theoretically/conceptually correct but practically messed up actor. What you say should relate to what you do. Talk about leading an industrial revolution and then acting in super-crap movies is not very "promising".
Still Angry…….
(written for and published in www.movierecycle.com, 2011)
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